company, I have decided to enlighten you all to my sorrows, or at the very least give you the option of enlightenment (see LJ cut at the bottom).
In not-so-enlightening (I use that word loosely and with much sarcasm) news I have had Idioteque
by Radiohead stuck in my
head for the past who knows how many days. While that’s not necessarily a bad
thing, having “Who's in a bunker/Who's in a bunker/Women and children first/And the children first /And the children
…etc” repeating incessantly in one’s head can wear on one’s nerves eventually, especially because I have since discovered it’s impossible to sing along with a Radiohead song. That in itself is a blessing and a curse. A blessing because I cannot brutally rape a song I love, a curse in that I cannot get this song I love out of my head.
The sad thing is that it is entirely possible to write a paragraph about a song stuck in your head, as I have just proven with the above.
So, I’m learning how to drive. What have I learned in Driver’s Ed so far? Not much. Drinking is bad, especially when you’re driving. Wearing your seatbelt can really save your life. Whenever somebody dies a horrible, painful death in a driving movie they dye the screen a light shade of pink, to prove that that person has indeed died a horrible, painful death, even though it’s quite clear that they are (aside from their magic, invisible, and fatal injuries) otherwise uninjured. We have, Kelli and I, taken to calling this “blood vision,” even though it would be more correct to call it “rose vision.” Note, though, that “rose vision” lacks the sense of imminent DOOM that “blood vision” possesses, thus we shall pass over the nit-picky details and still call it “blood vision.” Yesterday’s four hours of
rehashing what we already know or what is common sense
learning invaluable lessons in driving an automobile was made more bearable by the fact that, much to my chagrin, I found one of the main characters in a “blood vision” movie to be at least moderately attractive.
Yes, you did read that correctly. They had a good-looking guy in a “blood vision” movie. Thus, in driver’s ed, we have also learned that it is the exceptionally pretty ones that live in fatal, multi-car accidents. Well, damn, I feel a bit cheated now.
I hope I am amusing you all with my amazingly witty prose about my life? Yes? Oh, never fear! There is
...the above statement is, in all actuality, almost a lie. I have fallen even deeper in love with the writings of David Sedaris, and I shall be quite distraught when I’m done with Me Talk Pretty One Day
. Thought: I know I have just used italics improperly. It was done consciously, with reasoning behind it. The reasoning? Italics look much better than an underline. Shallow of me? Sure. Who isn’t shallow on occasion? Honestly, it’s better to be shallow with the aesthetics of writing than with the aesthetics of people, don’t you think?
With that deep, philosophical musing I leave you the following
rant, in which I shall prove that I am a bad daughter, an even worse grandchild, and essentially going to a Hell that I don’t believe in.( Mother and MeCollapse )
And here I steal a word I learned to spell correctly from Gina: ciao.
Normally I’d be unloading my emotional instability on to people whom I trust at least won’t laugh in my face, though I’m sure those select few are sniggering over their keyboards as I ramble about certain day-to-day occurrences. However, as misery absolutely